I’m ringing Dogline – anyone got the number?

She who must be obeyed has broken two toes, only little ones mind! You would think her leg had fallen off!

She won’t take me out for a walk, its been seven days now, I know the garden is big and theres lots to do, but really this is dog cruelty, the big daft dog isn’t bothered – he’s old and has a very thick coat on so he hates this weather and would rather loll about near the draft from the front door where the floor is nice and cool, but me well I’m an all action dog.


Not only will she not take me out for a walk, she won’t even play football even though I have brought the ball indoors so many times. She just shouts at me to ‘get that dirty thing out of here’ I ask you my football is my most treasured possession and she really knows how to hurt a dog!

I tried licking her toes but she screamed, I tried bringing her half a frog (the bottom bit – its the best part) but all to no avail.

So if you see a small tri-coloured dog with a military gait and a small red handkerchief containing his most precious things, please stop and take him for a walk as he’s not very good at map reading.




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